among friends

Well the secret about Haverford High vs Haverford College is Sam wanted it to be a FUCS concert first but no one would let him. Part of the reason but not all of it was that high school kids, at least the ones who come to Lunt basement, are pretty obnoxious. Not any more so than we were and probably still are as people, but there’s a difference between Joe Haverford who touches you too much and Joe High School who does the same. How dare he. He smokes and smells and being at Haverford isn’t so much a privilege as it is a chance to be who he always wanted to be.

So going in I only had a half smile. It was because of that college condescension and maybe because something about us inviting them at all revealed a backwards sense of ownership we feel towards a space we can only use when someone lets us. The whole thing made me feel gross and I’ve developed this shame-induced aversion to cigarette smoke, plus it sounded like a bunch of high school bands, so overall I’d rate it an uncomfortable out of ten, even though Sam really liked it.

We activated the right things in them—I think they got what they wanted—but what went wrong was me.

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